Life Lately: Transitions
(Fair warning: this post starts with a long-ish talk about some personal challenges of late. If you want to skip the feely rant and get to the part about Harlow I won't be mad :D )
Ahhhh change. It's either something you crave or it makes you uncomfortable, sometimes simultaneously. We're in the midst of a change to our household routine and it's taking some getting used to. Harlow started pre-school/day care last week and it's been so great! With the exception of one day, she's gone right in and hasn't cried or fussed when I dropped her off. I'm so extremely proud of her, and feel validated in my conviction that she was ready for this.
Sadly, my schedule has been a bit less adaptable to this change.
Since Harlow started pre-school, my working hours have been cut in half, and some days I get even less than that. Because of gosh dang Irma, on Tuesday they cancelled school altogether and that threw me into a tailspin. My anxiety was already mounting from my to-do list ballooning like a freak soufflé. I knew I'd get zero work done -- Harlow's just not the kind of kid to sit in the corner and play by herself for long periods of time. She's never been that way; the kid likes a change of scenery.
I've become acutely aware of the perks and luxuries of having a dependable nanny punctually show up at my front door, rain or shine, and take over. No driving to deduct from my block of working hours! When 9:00 AM hit, I could switch into work mode super easily and get after it until five minutes before my nanny had to leave. At the time, I would've told you I could still use more hours in the day to dedicate to work. Now I look back and it feels like I had all the time in the world!
As with most "things," it's not just this one change to our routine that's got me frazzled. The month of August was packed full of fun things...but all that fun in such a short amount of time got us out of whack with our typical routine. I prosper in a routine, and what's more, I have to work some on the weekends and that hasn't been possible. Mike's been gone or wrapped up in household projects that need doing desperately...but that means I'm not free to get my stuff done because I'm on the mom clock. And so, with all of this combined, I'm in an anxious spiral, feeling like that cartoon character who's chasing the train desperately trying to hook his cane on the back to catch it.
Y'all feel me?
As I pour these thoughts onto the page, I already know in my heart what's going to happen: that this, too, shall pass. That as soon as tomorrow the chips may fall in my favor and I'll cross off some lingering to-dos. Today I made good headway, and it didn't hurt that the sun literally started shining again :D Not to mention that I remember feeling this way in the past...memories of being tethered to an infant who I couldn't put down for more than 5 minutes at a time come to mind. What I wouldn't give to snuggle with that little bundle of happiness like I used to. Just us girls, glued to the couch, doing nothing and everything all at once. Perhaps if I shift my current focus, I'll see what I'm getting instead of what I'm missing....
Now on to the cute stuff!
Our schedules and routines aren't the only things transitioning lately. Harlow is starting to talk more and more and I swear everyday she says a new word or shows me she understands a concept I didn't know that she knew. Realizing your kid is understanding and soaking up everything around her is both exhilarating and frightening! She's also got some real opinions and wants to be the boss of her own decisions. Some of the things she's been saying and doing lately are so cute, sweet, and funny! Here's some of them:
She loves wearing hoodies and gets upset when her hood falls down. She froze on the middle of the stairs the other day and wouldn't move until I put her hoodie back on.
We taught her some basic baby sign language and now she's saying the words with her signs. She says "all done!" with her hand signals, and "mo!" (more) is said on repeat throughout the day.
As is "mommy." Geez I bet I hear my name 50 times a minute.
When she wants both Mike and I's attention she says "Daddamamma" or vice versa like it's one word and we're one person LOL!
In one morning, she said the word "robe," told me that dolphins swim in "wa wa," and that she was ready for "beck-fiss." I'd never heard her say those words before ever.
She says "Nah Nah" for both banana and Moana so sometimes that gets confusing.
"Turtle" and "Georgia" (one of our dogs) also sound similar.
At dinnertime she loves holding Mike and I's hands to sing the ABC song. We were on round four the other night and had to call it to get her in the bath!
She loves to have her hair brushed.
Mike came home from a bachelor party singing Drake's "Headlines" so now Harlow sings "they know, they know they knooooow." It's kind of amazing :)
When we're riding in the car, if she says "Nah Nah" and points to the roof it means she wants me to play the soundtrack. I know just about every word at this point BUT did y'all know the music was co-written by Hamilton's Lin Manuel Miranda?? No wonder I sometimes listen to it when Harlow's not with me (#Disneymom)
At nap/bedtime, whichever book I recommend first she usually rejects and then likes the second one. Letting her decide which one we pick makes her so happy!
She says all her grandparent's names together and always has to run through the whole list. Dee Dee and Doc. Pop and G. She's working on Glammy and Granny, still hasn't quite gotten those down pat. And Al. Al is my grandmother's dear friend and he's kind of like part of the family. Every time I say we're going to see Granny she asks about Al.
We got her markers and crayons to color with and most of it wound up on her face.
One of her favorite games is stacking boxes on our heads. She doesn't use them for anything else except wearing them as hats LOL!
She's starting to understand negotiations. For example, if we go out to eat and Harlow behaves well and eats enough for us to be satisfied, she can earn Moana time. One night she wouldn't touch her broccoli which Harlow usually eats. I even brought her some hummus to dip it in and she wasn't having it. We told her if she ate just one piece she'd get to watch Moana. It took about 15 minutes worth of sporadic conversations about it for her to understand. But after that one time, she gets it now. I'm a big fan of teaching her that her actions and decisions have consequences.
Foods she still won't eat -- like won't even allow herself to chew once: eggs, spaghetti, macaroni, tomatoes, any cheese other than Colby, cucumbers, mashed vegetables. She eats Greek yogurt with chia seeds and gets upset when we offer her cheesy pasta. Go figure.
She loves to hold my hand when we read, watch movies, or when she's falling asleep. It fills me with so much love I can't even put it into words!
Reading that list makes me forget all the frustrating stuff and refocus on what life's all about. So what if it's been a stormy few days in every sense? The sun is back, I saw the first leaves turning orange this morning, and being rained in led me to find this 100% cashmere wrap for under $75! Nothing gets you shopping for sweaters like cold, dreary weather and being stuck inside for 48 hours LOL!
Wishing you all a wonderful, blessed day! xxBrooke
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